When The Music's Over

Chick walks into Boss's office to ask him about some paperwork.

HNOC: *opens door, head down* "Hey, I was going over these..."

She looks up to see her Boss over in the far side of his office, standing on a tall bar-stool, noose around his neck tied to a support beam. She drops all the papers to the floor.

HNOC: "Oh GOD NO!! STOP!!"
Boss: "Hey."
HNOC: "What are you doing? You can't... just wait! Don't do it!"
Boss: "Eeeh, I figured it was time..."
HNOC: "NO! You can't do this! Just wait a minute, let's talk about this, please!!"
Boss: "Naah, talk's for radio. I'm done. Gotta hop this train on outta here!"

Boss tightens the rope around his neck, starts wobbling the stool.

HNOC: "NOOO, YOU CAN'T!!" *runs towards him*
Boss: "Catch ya in the next life kiddo!" *kicks the stool away, body drops, rope tightens*

Chick grabs him around his thighs and tries desperately to lift him upwards. He begins to make awful choking sounds. She begins to cry. What a way to start a Tuesday!

Boss: *swinging from rope, gurgling throat sounds*
HNOC: "Somebody HELP!!! PLEASE!!! ANYBODY!!"

Chick struggles to keep him lifted so as to reduce the pull on his neck, but to no avail.

Boss: *terrible choking sounds now morph into restrained giggling*

Chick looks up, Boss has both hands grabbing the rope that hugs his neck tightly.

Boss: *very obvious laughing sounds*
HNOC: "What, are, you.... are you Laughing???
Boss: *cackles like a chicken*
HNOC: "You're laughing???" *total shock and disbelief*
Boss: "OH MY GOD! Your FACE!! You should've SEEN it!!!
HNOC: "You SON OF A BITCH!!! You SON of a BIIITCH!! What the FUCK is the MATTER with you????"

Boss lets go of the rope around his neck and hangs, swinging freely.

HNOC: "You SICK SON of a BITCH!! I thought you were killing yourself!!
Boss: "Looked real as FUCK, didn't it??"
HNOC: "Oh my God, you SICK sack of BITCHES!! FUCK YOOOUUU!"
Boss: "It's one of those harnesses, like in the movies? Yeah, I got a buddy, he does stunt work in indie films."

Chick is absolutely OUTRAGED at this point. She's in tears AND as pissed as she can be.

HNOC: "Ya know, I thought the bondage-midget-Furry thing was fucked but THIS, Jesus Christ on a snow-cone, you need help you sad, sick motherfucking son of a BITCH!"
Boss: "Aww c'mon, you gotta admit, this was one for the books! You totally thought I was biting it!"

At this point Chick is picking up everything in sight and throwing it at her horrible bastard of a boss.

HNOC: "I. TRIED. TO SAVE. YOUR. SORRY ASS. LIFE! You fucking BASTARD!!"

She throws another object with every word. Boy, she wasn't finding this funny AT all.

Boss: "Hey, c'mon now, it was a joooke, fuuuuck!!"
HNOC: "You lousy unfunny sack of shitburgers!!" *continues throwing things at him*
Boss: "OK, ok, okaaay!! I get it, it was kind of a fucked up thing to do, alright, shit, I'm sorry!"
HNOC: "You're SORRY?? OH FUCK YOOUU AAAAND YOUR SORRIES!!!

Chick gathers up the paperwork she dropped and heads for the door.

Boss: "OK, I've learned my lesson now, c'mon, help me down from here."
HNOC: "You can go FUCK yourself! You AND your fucking stunt harness!!"
Boss: "Don't be like that, I said I was sorry!!"
HNOC: "You make me SICK! I fucking HATE YOU!!"
Boss: "I'm sorrrrrrrryyyyy, I was only playing around, c'mon!!"

Chick storms out slamming the door behind her. Boss is literally left hangin.

Boss: "Heeey, come on nooow, help me down! This thing hurts! Come awwwwnn!!"