Saturday, March 21, 2026

"Away From it All" - First in the four-part series 'Alone' - Mixed media on plywood. My 179th painting.

 


Mooresville, Indiana - June 18, 1993.

It’s official - I’m the brand-new owner of a big ass farmhouse! Minus the farm. Two stories on three acres. I’m surrounded by gorgeous woodlands! Morning walks in the fall, I can already feel the cool air on my face, the crunch of dried leaves underfoot. This is where it all starts!
 
However, a heaviness lingers. The previous owner - an elderly woman in her nineties - passed away here. She lost both her husband and only son in the Second World War. France or Poland I think. After that, her health went into steady decline until the unfortunate end.

But things begin anew!
 
The realtor met me here just after lunchtime with the keys, congratulated me and was rather quick to be on his way. Seemed a bit off but I suppose his day is full.
 
Got everything moved in, only what I had in the truck bed, just need to unpack and put it all away. Still house poor! I’ll be on task Monday to get some furniture.
 
Until then, it’s simple living - my old sleeping bag and collapsible camping chair. May even sleep outside, soak up my new environment. I’m so excited!



Sunday - June 20.

Good Sunday Morning! Slept a little better last night. A few blankets under the sleeping bag made all the difference! First order of business was coffee, which I’m still presently enjoying, then - I flushed the sertraline. I’ve had it with nausea, headaches and spontaneous dry heaves. Fuck all that! Gonna look into something natural, maybe find an apothecary or herbal shop. There has to be something local to fit the bill. I’ll add it to my list:

- bed

- sofa

- table/chairs

- fridge & stove

- typing paper

- natural pick me ups
 
Just the essentials for now. There’s plenty of time to fill this place with all the comforts of home. Speaking of essentials, I’m starving! I think a quick trip to my favorite guilty pleasure - the golden arches - is in order! Then maybe a little wander around town to see what’s what. It’s so quiet I can actually hear the birds and the wind in the trees. This will be the best chapter of my life!


Beth would have loved it here.

Tuesday, February 24, 2026

Alone [intro]

Moira Finley, 41, florist - is embarking on a new path to find her place in the world.


Cleveland, Ohio - June 14, 1993.

My ex-therapist always suggested keeping a journal. So here we go I guess.

First day as an unemployed florist. Months in the making but I did it - I sold the shop! Twelve years of blood and sweat. Just couldn’t do it anymore. My heart wasn’t in it. Such a shame when our love for things falls cold. No more settling for safe and familiar.

I want to feel alive again!

So with these two packs of ballpoints, stack of spiral notebooks and mom’s old typewriter - it’s now or never - I’m gonna start writing! Got enough savings to coast a few months before having to get a “real job” - I really think I can make this work.

Friday I close on the new place. The truck will be loaded and Cleveland in the rear view. Here’s to fresh starts and a new life!




Alone

Away From it All

Things Amiss

Stirrings

No Uncertain Terms




A four-part writing/painting series - initiating contact, soon.

Saturday, February 14, 2026

The conflict has begun...

A time for all things.

Life destroys us without cause.

Cursed to walk alone.




March 2026

Friday, January 30, 2026

"The Confession pt. 2" - Final in the three-part series 'Heretic' - Mixed media on plywood. My 178th painting.

 


The video resumes and Darcy returns to her chair. Mute and despondent, she stares at the floor. Moments tick past, she rises and steps out of view.
 
There’s a tapping sound, like plastic on a hard surface - then a swift snort, followed by two sharp sniffles. She re-enters the frame wiping her nose and is seated.
 
Her attention settles on the table, the release of tears - she lifts the bottle and pours one more, without drinking.

“The night of the 11th, it was after midnight - maybe closer to one, making it the 12th - my birthday. I broke into the daycare.”

She takes a healthy pull from the glass.
“I almost talked myself out of this one.”

She wipes her eyes and face.
“But I had to see it through.”

Darcy takes a long, deep breath. Her expression contorts, she sobs with mournful abandon - covering her face with both hands - the tormented wailing muffled.

She finds a break in the upheaval.

“I went into the kitchen, looked around. There was a giant pitcher of fruit punch or juice in the fridge. It was nearly full.”

She tilts her head back, rolls it side to side.
“I had ten bottles of eye drops - six into the pitcher.”

She reaches for the glass and finishes its contents.
“There were two plastic containers of cookies on the counter. A bottle in each.”

Darcy turns sideways and doubles over in her chair - howling, convulsing as she wept.

“I saw the news report and knew I’d made a horrific mistake!” she concedes between sobs.

“Twenty-seven babies! Three to six years-old!”
 
She screeches a few unintelligible words, guilt and shame eating her alive.
“I didn’t want them to have a lifetime of suffering!”

The fury settles, she catches her breath.
“I was wrong.”

She blots her face with the hem of her shirt.
“I truly believed this was the only way of granting mercy on the innocent - but it wasn’t.”

Darcy stands and walks out of frame. Close to a minute elapses before her return. She takes her seat, throws the glass into the kitchen and chugs from the bottle.
 
Her dead eyes grip the camera lens -
 
“That’s all.”


The detectives watch Darcy end her life with a self-inflicted gunshot.

Friday, January 16, 2026

"The Confession pt. 1" - Second in the three-part series 'Heretic' - Mixed media on plywood. My 177th painting.

 


Two detectives are seated in a conference room at a large formica topped table. Across from them - a television set with built-in DVD player. The forensic materials specialist enters.

“Digitized copy of the confession tape.” he says, holding up a disc.

He slides it into the player.

“Ending is pretty gnarly.” he offers through a repressed grin.

The men stare at him blankly.
 
“Enjoy.” he adds, then takes his awkward leave.

The video begins with snowy screen carry-over from the VHS source material, then a few jumping horizontal lines complete with monochrome pushing its way into color - finally, the main attraction.
 
A young woman enters the frame and sits on a wooden dining room chair, one of three in view. A whiskey glass and liquor bottle occupy the table. Her appearance is haggard - eyes red and vacant, dark mousy brown hair slightly tousled but greasy and matted in places. Faded, ripped jeans and a wrinkled blue flannel shirt.
 
She starts off slow and timid - her obvious struggle for words and stammering make the first few minutes a chore. After a sampling of the bottle, her stride is found.
 
“Once I decided to embrace this new perspective, that Earth was a prison for souls - and there was little anyone could do to defeat the endless loop of reincarnation cycles - I committed to what I felt had to be done.”

Darcy pauses briefly.

“I would liberate them from their flesh tombs - so that they might know something beyond this captivity.”

She runs her left hand through her hair.

“Figuring out who to free first wasn’t easy. I’d never killed anyone before. I was scared.”

She stands and paces in and out of frame while talking.

“Then it came to me - I’d pop my murder cherry on a cop.”

The men exchange a transient glance.
 
“The more I thought about it, a strange excitement took hold. Who wouldn’t want to dust a fuckin’ pig?”

Darcy takes her seat and unbuttons the flannel, exposing a washed-out black t-shirt underneath, peppered with an array of holes and gashes.

She rubs her face with both hands.

“I staked out this house in a nice neighborhood - old married couple. Caught on to their routine.”

Darcy pours a drink and takes a sip.

“Last Wednesday night I made my move - after they left I broke in through the back patio doors and called 9-1-1. Pretended I was being beaten by my violent husband, needed help, please send an officer kinda thing.”

She takes another sip.

“I fucked the place up a little so it looked convincing, left the front door cracked - with all the lights off, I hid in the hallway bathroom - ready.”

She tilts her head back, looks at the ceiling and yawns.

“I got quite the surprize though.”

Darcy stands and begins pacing again.

“I heard the cop enter and announce himself, then there was talking - two people - I panicked. Didn’t plan on killing two cops.”

She rolls up her sleeves.

“He called out to me, asked where I was. I yelled back in the best frightened voice I could muster - it happened really fast.”

She rubs the back of her neck with her right hand and returns to her seat.

“He pushed the bathroom door open with his flashlight. I was huddled on the floor against the wall. When he flipped the light on I had already turned around - shot him in the face. The second cop was just behind, got him in the shoulder. He went down in the hall. I was quick to my feet and with a third and final shot. Again, to the face.”

“Fuckin’ cunt.” mumbles one of the detectives.

“I got the hell outta there. I was parked a couple blocks over next to a field, drove straight home - pulled the car into the garage that night.”
 
She glances off camera and laughs quietly to herself.

“Once I was home, showered, my clothes burned - I wasn’t afraid. If I’m honest, it felt good. Really good.”

Darcy leaves her chair, walking out of frame into the kitchen. Restrained grunts evolve into loud bellows as she kicks and punches cabinets and possibly the wall.
 
“Fuck! Fuck! Fuck you, goddamn fuck!”

A full minute of this before she returns to her seat. Tears mark her cheeks - her bloodshot eyes find the lens, she screams at the top of her lungs. Several intense but stifled sobs before wiping her face.
 
She takes a stabilizing breath.

“No regrets.” she admits calmly.

Darcy trickles two fingers of bourbon into the glass, rolls it around and takes a drink.

“Couple nights later I went to the church to handle the pastor and his wife. There was only one car in the parking lot, figured it was just him. Didn’t know she was there too until after.”

She takes another drink.

“I ran inside, scoping it out, to see if anyone else was there. Halfway down the hall I was met by the lady. I put on my best hysterical act, claiming my crazy boyfriend was after me. She took me into a back office where her husband sat at a big desk shuffling papers.

She closed the door and I pulled out the gun. Told them to get down on their knees, hands behind them. She started crying but they did as they were told. I cuffed them - compliments of the dead cops - made them sit back-to-back in the middle of the floor.

He started bargaining - ma’am, I don’t know what’s happening but can you let my wife go? You can keep me just please let her go. She teaches Sunday school. I told him to shut the fuck up. I opened my backpack and got to it.”

Darcy lulls into a pensive state.

“First, I soaked a rag with ether, knocked ‘em both out.”

She clears her throat and pauses.

“Then I covered their heads with plastic bags, duct taped tightly around their necks.”

She leans forward, pinches the bridge of her nose.

“I didn’t eat at all that day, felt so sick. Must’ve been the crank.”

For a short interval, she falls still and silent - then looks directly into the camera.

“I need the restroom.”


Darcy moves to the camcorder and hits STOP.

Thursday, January 8, 2026

"I'll Be Waiting" - First in the three-part series 'Heretic' - Mixed media on plywood. My 176th painting.

 


Kansas City, Kansas - March 14, 1990.

The dusty and worn video camera emits a faint whistling as its internal mechanisms work together to slowly spin the tape forward.

Darcy leaves her chair and steps out of frame. The sounds of a phone call being made.
 
[Ringing]

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”
“I’m the one they’re looking for.”
“Excuse me?”
“I’m the one they want - the three recent events in the news. It was me.”

She leaves the receiver to hang from the wall.
 
“Hello? Ma’am? Are you there?”

Darcy returns to her seat - picks up the glass, throws it across the room - then grabs the bottle and takes several heroic swigs before slamming it back down.

She reaches onto the chair beside her, a .380 comes into view. She rests it on the table. A desperate, prolonged gaze into the lens.

“That’s all.”

Darcy lifts the gun, places the barrel to the roof of her mouth and pulls the trigger.


A few seconds pass and the tape runs out, the camcorder shuts off.

Monday, December 15, 2025

Heretic [intro]

A disheveled young woman, manic and flustered in movement, sets up a video camera facing a small dining table where sits a lone glass and bottle of bourbon. She hits record, checks that it’s rolling and takes her seat.

“I don’t know how to start this - “ her voice scratches.

She clears her throat.

“I need to say some things first. I am not crazy.”

She takes a measured breath.

“I am not crazy!” she yells into the camera.

She pours a drink, swills about half then returns the glass to the table.

“There are dark forces working against me, against all of us.”

She nervously rearranges the bottle and glass.

“We’re not supposed to be here - and this is never going to end.” her words quake with dread.

She finishes the drink, pushes out a labored breath and stares at the table, then at the wall behind the camera.

“People live their whole lives in fear of going to Hell. Not knowing - we’re already there.” she says, wringing her hands.

The increasingly agitated woman leaps from her chair and paces in and out of frame.

“We’re tricked into coming here.”

Another strained breath before being seated.

“Sometimes under the threat of force, like we have no say in the matter. Souls are trapped here, in this prison colony - our suffering is their food.”

She leans back in her chair.

“Escape is made to look impossible.”

She locks onto the lens, unblinking.

“The worst part is - I’m beginning to believe it.” her tone quiet, conquered.

She shuffles in her seat and refills the glass.

“Under this impression, I made decisions to do what most would consider terrible things - but I really saw no other solution. I did not take pride nor pleasure in these acts, they were done simply because they had to be.”

Tears run, her face twists in pain.

“I wanted there to be another way - there wasn’t.”

She empties her glass and stares hard into the camera.


“My name is Darcy Alban. I was born March 12, 1961.


This is my confession.”



Heretic

I’ll Be Waiting

The Confession pt. 1

The Confession pt. 2



A new three-part writing/painting series - splintering into forever, soon.


Coming 2026.